I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we curate our lives and our leadership until they’re as polished and clinical as a private hospital lobby. We want to present this version of ourselves that is always in control, always scaling, always moving with the precision of a German train. But the truth, if we’re being honest over a glass of something red, is that the real work happens in the messy middle, in the cold of realising you might have no idea what you’re doing.
I spent years trying to be the clever one, the one with the blueprint. But leadership, I’ve found, is less about having the map and more about finding your true north while you’re still shivering in the dark.
The Death of the “Expert” Mask
For the longest time, I suffered from a Great Imposter Complex that would make J.M. Coetzee proud. I thought that if people saw the thin skin beneath the title, the whole house of cards would come crashing down. I’d sit in meetings nodding knowingly, while inside I felt like a fraud who was about to be stripped of my rank.
The shift happened when I stopped trying to be the most “rightest” person in the room. I realised that authenticity isn’t a buzzword; it’s the truest essence of showing up even when you’re petrified. Real leadership is admitting when the centre cannot hold and being the one to stay on the ship anyway.
Lessons from the School of Hard Knocks
If South Africa has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t lead from a place of political neutrality. You have to get your hands dirty. You have to pull up your sleeves and be the change, rather than just tweeting about it over a second bottle of Beaumont Shiraz.
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Instituting Boundaries (with Love): I used to think being a leader meant being obsequious, trying to make everyone like me. It doesn’t work. You need to institute boundaries and stick to them, or you’ll find yourself bankrolling everyone else’s drama while your own sanity leaks away.
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The Power of the Micro-Conversation: We think leadership is about the big speech, but it’s actually found in the micro-interactions: talking to the petrol attendant, the cashier, the person whose “culture” is different from yours. It’s about bridging divides and actually listening to the answer when you ask, “Kunjani?”
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Embracing the “Brak” Spirit: We are all “pavement specials,” hybridisations of our mistakes and our victories. I’ve learnt to be kinder and more forgiving of my own blunders.
Finding the Magic in the Chaos
There’s a wildness to operating in the middle of a crisis that can be quite irresistible if you don’t let the fear paralyse you. Sometimes, you have to leap and the net will appear.
We live in a world that wants us to be Stepford Wives in shuttershades, pretending everything is fabulous. But I’m opting for the amusement park version of life instead; the one that smells of dust and oil and boerie rolls, where the rollercoaster might careen off the tracks, but damn, the ride is fun!
Leadership isn’t about escaping the chaos; it’s about learning to dance in it. It’s about realising that ordinary things are difficult for many, and that being large and gracious in the face of that difficulty is the only thing that actually leaves a mark. Eish, it’s a helluva thing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
